
When I was seven years old, I was in a missions service and felt God calling me to Africa. I was properly horrified, as any cautious, shy, anxious, reserved, petite seven-year old would be! :) However, God has a way of bringing us around, and when Madeline was four and I was...well, younger than I am now :) - our family left to spend two years in Nigeria, serving with SIM.
In the airport, Madeline said with tears, "I wish Jesus didn't ask us to go to Nigeria." Two years later, when it was time to come home again, she was just as sad to leave! Nigeria was a rich time of lasting lessons for her: she learned things like peacemaking, how to make friends with just about anyone, flexibility, and compassion. She gained a broader worldview and grew in her natural desire to serve others.
Nigeria taught me that God really does take care of small details like making sure I never saw a huge spider without someone there to rescue me. I also began to learn more about myself through our time in Nigeria: that I had a deep need to make myself worthwhile to Christ. When we came home, it was the beginning of a valley for me, filled with caves and treacherous pits as I stumbled into unknown pain, mixed-up core beliefs, and deep grief and loss. I am still walking the valley, but the way seems a little brighter most days, and I am able to see the Shepherd with me a little more clearly.
Some would say that in my broken state, I should not consider a trip such as this. I say, we are all broken. God uses our weakness, works in and through it for the good of ourselves and others and ultimately receives the glory. While I have difficulty seeing this truth when I am lost in the darkness of a cave in the valley, truth it remains.
I approach this trip to Ecuador with excitement, trepidation, and anticipation. I am looking forward to serving and sharing with good friends, special experiences with my daughter and her friends, hanging with the many children we meet, learning from, serving, and serving with people of another culture, practicing my fledgling Spanish (thanks, Tenli!), encouraging and working alongside CBC missionary Sara Risser, growing and seeing Madeline grow in ways we never would if we stayed home. I think it will be a good trip.